Some of the most meaningful quotes I have ever heard are from individuals who are speaking English as a second language. There is something about a limited vocabulary, and actually having to take the time to think about what you are saying, that can really boil an aspect of life down to a profound essence.
A couple of weeks ago, river plans were brewing over a breakfast of fresh juevos, avocado, and pineapple juice in the small town of Baeza, Ecuador. Presented with one option, a friend quoted a favorite saying he had picked up from a Northern European country somewhere along the way. Mimicking a bouncy sing-song accent, he said, “Step out of comfort and into adventure!”
We all laughed. Since, I have reflected on the truth of that.
Ultimately, stepping out of comfort makes us face our fears.
Regarding fear, Pema Chodron recounts the following story:
Once there was a young warrior. Her teacher told her that she had to do battle with fear. She didn’t want to do that. It seemed too aggressive; it was scary; it seemed unfriendly. But the teacher said she had to do it and gave instructions for the battle.
The day arrived. The student warrior stood on one side, and fear stood on the other. The warrior was feeling very small, and fear was looking big and wrathful. The young warrior roused herself and went toward fear, prostrated three times, and asked, “May I have permission to go into battle with you?”
Fear said, “Thank you for showing me so much respect that you ask permission.”
Then the young warrior said, “How can I defeat you?”
Fear replied, “My weapons are that I talk fast, and I get very close to your face. Then you get completely unnerved, and you do whatever I say. If you don’t do what I tell you, I have no power. You can listen to me, and you can have respect for me. You can even be convinced by me. But if you don’t do what I say, I have no power.”
In that way, the student warrior learned how to defeat fear.
Comfort means different things for different people. For some, traveling to a new place or trying out a new activity in which she or he is completely incompetent is incredibly uncomfortable. For others, facing the fear that comes above dropping a steep line on skis or running a 90 ft. waterfall may be a lazy-boy of comfort compared to the commitment of letting go enough to truly love someone instead of something (which ultimately leads to something more fulfilling than ever imagined).
Fear can make us do many things. It can make us freeze. It can make us take off running. It can make us scream, cry, or execute a rash judgement or decision. The scariest part of fear is being mindful to pause and not doing anything at all. To sit with the discomfort long enough to recognize fear as fear and not as part of us. In this recognition, we are able to overcome fear by recognizing it for what it is, and not doing what it is telling us.
Stepping out of what we have established as comfortable for ourselves, is the space in which we grow. By consciously choosing to do something that feels scary and sticking with it, the uncomfortable becomes comfortable, even if it is something that initially doesn’t come “naturally” to us.
But, let’s be real. If you own a house, have two kids, a white picket fence, a loving partner and a job that allows you to experience purpose inside or out of it, we’re not saying ditch it all and get on a one way plane to Djibouti in the name of “stepping out of comfort.” Nor if you’re atop a Himalayan peak, living off of $2/ day with your backpack in the depths of Pacha Mama are we saying to hitchhike your way home to get a “real job.”
There is immense importance in honoring where you are and what feels right to you at any moment in time, as well as noticing the joys of “a bubble.” A couple of years ago I was traveling in Nepal on my own, utterly exhausted from overnight buses, random marriage proposals and having no plan, and I distinctly remember recognizing the benefits of having at least a little bit of a “bubble.” I hadn’t set myself up for the best success because I disregarded the idea of any sort of comfort whatsoever, and from that, I learned and found immense appreciation for family and friends (which continues to grow), as well as what “not to do” for my next trip.
Inevitably, life puts us in uncomfortable situations whether we like it or not. By specifically practicing discomfort in smaller instances that we choose, we learn and gain endurance in sitting with it. Facing fear allows us to experience and get comfortable with moments of whatever “not working out” or that are straight-up hard.
So, take a step back and ask yourself what makes you comfortable and what makes you uncomfortable? Appreciate the comfortable, enjoy it and maintain it. Then, look the uncomfortable right in the eyes and pick out one small thing you can do every day to experience the sensation of that discomfort. Practice positive perspective, persistence, and patience. And being kind to yourself. With time, you’ll inevitably notice your perseverance and growth through exposure to discomfort. When life throws you a curve ball, you’ll be better prepared. You’ll grow, and growing is the ultimate adventure.
Kira is a freelance writer and the co-founder of the whole wellness getaway company KULAvie. She is a yoga, kayak, and ski instructor who is passionate about connecting people with the outdoors and has had the privilege of working in Idaho, North Carolina, Chile, Nepal, India, Uganda, Zimbabwe, and the Tibetan Plateau.
